So I Married A Pessimist FAQs

Q. From where is this material drawn?

A. A combination of the most recent psychological research on the subject and over thirty-five years of clinical practice.

Q. How can you claim to teach about pessimism? Isn’t pessimism caused by different things in different people?

A. Absolutely. But there are consistent factors that apply from one person to the next. If you understand these factors, and are willing to apply what you learn, you can better deal with their pessimism.

Q. Why can’t someone who is pessimistic just listen to reason and get over their pigheadedness?

A. Reason is only half the battle: there is a powerful and poorly understood emotional aspects at play as well. The workbook material explains these.

Q. If someone really loves you, shouldn’t they be willing to give up their pessimism?

A. Their pessimism is not about giving you a hard time. The roots of pessimism run deep and a pessimistic outlook is not one that is consciously adopted. While the situation is workable, pessimism is not something that can be dropped at will.

Q. How can I be expected to cure my spouse’s fears and insecurities?

A. You can’t. But you can be a model and a source of support and understanding for them while they work these issues through. This material will help you do that.

Q. Is So I Married A Pessimist effective for everyone?

A. Yes, the material is written to be beneficial to a wide range of personalities and situations.

Q. How does this workbook work?

A. The material assumes you want things to be different in your marriage and are willing to work toward that end. It offers a series of concrete suggestions as to how to approach the situation in a way most likely to produce the results you desire.

Q. Will I have to join some cult or adopt an entirely different world view to get anything from this course?

A. Only if you consider rationality a cult. The material is a progression of reasonable, rational steps, guided by enlightened self-interest and borne out by psychological research.

Q. Why do you refer to it as a workbook?

A. Because in addition to the material and a fictional illustrative narrative, there are a series of homework questions and exercises that will help you put the theory into action.

Q. Why does love seem so elusive?

A. Because the concept is poorly understood and often confused with passion, which is a completely different thing. We delve into the distinction in the course material.

Q. Is this considered “New Age” material?

A. Only in the sense that it acknowledges our own ability to take control of our lives. The material is very practical and grounded. While there are some suggestions that may seem new or surprising to you, that is in the nature of my approach.

Q. Is there outside help available should one so desire it?

A. While the workbook was written and designed to be self-guided, the Premium package offers the option of a sixty minute, one-on-one phone consultation with the author.

Q. What qualifies you to offer this material?

A. I am a licensed Mental Health Counselor in the state of New York with more than thirty years of successful clinical experience. Many of my clients have come seeking to build a happier marriage.