Gratitude

William R. Colagrande, MS

What is it about human nature that makes it so easy for us to take things for granted? We seem to posses an enormous capacity for thinking that we not only deserve all we have, but much more as well. At least part of the explanation lies in a type of self-protective function of our brains. For example, we know rationally that we could die at any particular moment (not just in our sleep at age 96 as we might prefer) but, as a constant awareness of this is just too psychologically stressful to bear in mind, we cope by effectively forgetting it. Though a useful defense against chronic stress, it can, like anything else taken to an extreme, become counter-productive to our health.

This denial, particularly as it occurs in our affluent culture, pushes us to lose virtually any vestige of appreciation for what we have in our rush to acquire more. Part of our problem is affluence is a relative term. For many of us, affluence would mean a new Lexus, a $12,000 home entertainment center and season tickets to Giants stadium. Sometimes, when I’m doing the grocery shopping down in Kingston Plaza, I stop my cart for a moment and try to take in the variety and sheer quantity of food choices available to us there. I try to imagine the reaction of one of more than half the world’s population to being suddenly placed in that aisle with me, someone who normally gets by on a handful of rice or beans or whatever for a meal. While for them the reaction would be one of stunned silence, for us, its business as usual. In fact, we can be so out of touch with our sense of gratitude that we find ourselves getting angry when some little old lady is holding up the checkout line by fishing pennies out of her purse or when someone has fourteen items in the twelve item or less line. Next time you feel yourself similarly “inconvenienced” take a moment to reflect upon just how fortunate you really are!

Sooner or later we discover that having more and getting more are not related to happiness. In fact, happiness, peace and contentment are much more a function of feeling grateful for what we have and in trying to help out the next guy, in whatever way works for us, to get what he needs to survive. That guy can be next door, down the street or halfway around the world.

Generally, we require some unusual, often violent, circumstance to wake us momentarily out of our somnambulistic state, such as the sudden death of someone we know or seeing a car wreck and thinking Gee, that could have been me in there. As a greater appreciation of all we have leads us to feel more peace, contentment and happiness, it would be a prudent strategy to find time, at least once a day, for just a few moments, to review all we have to be thankful for. Try this: think of 25 things that you can feel grateful for that occur within five minutes of waking up in the morning. (Hint: start with Hey, I woke up this morning!)

If you are uncertain if you have a lot to be thankful for, consider some of the following statistics: if you shrank the entire earth's population to a village of precisely one hundred people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, there would be fifty-seven Asians, twenty-one Europeans, fourteen from the North and South America and eight Africans.

Fifty-two would be female, forty-eight would be male, thirty would be white, seventy would be nonwhite, thirty would be Christian, seventy would be non-Christian, eighty-nine would be heterosexual and eleven would be homosexual.

Six people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and all six would be from the USA. (Wow!)

Eighty would live in substandard housing, seventy would be unable to read, fifty would suffer from malnutrition, one would be near death, one would be near birth, one would have a college education and one would own a computer.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation, you are better off than 500,000,000 people in the world.

If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death, you are more blessed than 3,000,000,000 people in the world.

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 70% of the world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet or purse, and spare change in a dish some place, you are among the top 8% of the worlds wealthy.

If you can read this, you are more fortunate than more than 2,000,000,000 people in the world that cannot read at all.

Some facts to ponder as we approach our nation’s unique holiday. Have a great Thanksgiving.

2006

www.i4hd.com

I’m always interested in hearing your comments and feedback on my essays. You can send them to be by e-mailing bill@i4hd.com